Arms
by summaluv14
Summary: Songfic, for song by the same name by Christina Perri. "If someone told me two years ago that I would soon fall in love with my baby brother's human girlfriend, I would have laughed in their face. And then I probably would have killed them."
1. In Your Arms

_**One-shot. For now. Song is Arms by Christina Perri.**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own the song or the characters! If only, if only...**_

_"I never thought that you would be the one to hold my heart, but you came around and knocked me off the ground from the start"_

If someone told me two years ago that I would soon fall in love with my baby brother's human girlfriend, I would have laughed in their face. And then I probably would have killed them.

But from the very moment I saw her, I knew she was different than Katherine, in a good way. Meeting her and eventually becoming her friend backed up the idea that she was perfect. To me, at least.

_"you put your arms around me and I believe that it's easier for you to let me go"_

Despite being madly in love with this maddening woman, deep down I knew she was better off without me. Stefan was the good brother. At least, he was. Nowadays I wasn't so sure. But when I told her that I didn't deserve her, I meant it.

_"you put your arms around me and I'm home"_

When we opened the tomb to not find Katherine, I was devastated. Although I now know I was never in love with her, I had still dedicated the better half of two hundred years searching for her.

That was the first night Elena showed any physical affection to me. And in that moment, in her arms, I felt as if I was home. A feeling I hadn't felt since years before I was ever turned. She brought comfort to me that only my mother could in the past.

_"how many times will you let me change my mind and turn around? I can't decide if I'll let you save my life or if I'll drown"_

Loving Elena was definitely not easy, for either of us. I've done so much to hurt her, and that killed me. Every time, she forgave me. Sure, she would be pissed, but she would always end up seeing the good in me. And I don't know how to tell her how much I appreciate that she always sees the good in me.

The truth was, she saves me. Constantly, everyday. And that scares the hell out of me. So, because I'm scared, sometimes I don't let her save me. I try to drown myself in liquor, and girls, and bad decisions. But somehow, she still manages to salvage that little bit of good in me.

_"I hope that you see right through my walls"_

Elena sees right through my walls. That's one of things that I love about her most, it's also one of the things that scares me the most. With her, I'm at my most vulnerable. She seems to know that too. But yet, I feel like every time I put myself out there, I end up getting crushed.

_"I hope that you'll catch me, 'cause I'm already falling"_

I wasn't falling in love with her. I already fell. And I do mean, fall, as in, she never catches me. But it's almost like she helps me back up and encourages me to try again. It's infuriating, but if I truly believed there was no possibility with her, well, I don't really know what I'd do.

_"I'll never let a love get so close"_

She is my best friend. She is the love of my life. She knows more about me than my own brother does. I had never let anyone get this close to me. That's why I try so hard to save her life time and time again. Because if I lost her, who would I have?

_"the world is coming down on me and I can't find a reason to be loved"_

Elena showed me love, whether she knew it or not. When the rest of the world was coming down on me and I found no reason at all to be loved, she loved me. She loves me. I have to believe that. And so does she.

_"I never want to leave you but I can't make you bleed if I'm alone"_

I couldn't imagine my life without the constant presence of Elena. I never wanted to leave her, I never wanted her to leave me. But, as long as I was far, far, away, she wouldn't have to deal with all I bring to her. And that thought constantly plagues me, that I bring more hurt than joy to her. And that's the ultimate example of how selfish I am. Because although I know she'd be better off without me, I can't leave her because I love her all too much.

_"you put your arms around me, and I believe it's easier for you to let me go"_

Everyone else would be better off without me. Well, everyone else would probably be dead without me, but besides that, I truly think they would be happier. Especially Elena.

_"I hope that you see right through my walls, I hope that you catch me, 'cause I'm already falling, I'll never let a love get so close, you put your arms around me, and I'm home"_

I have never meant _anyone, _who was as infuriating and stubborn, and suicidal, and beautiful, and funny, and sexy, and amazing as she.

_"I tried my best to never let you in to see the truth, and I never opened up, I've never truly loved till you put your arms around me, and I believe that it's easier for you to let me go"_

I tried so hard to hide the fact that I loved her for so long. And when I couldn't take it anymore, I told her. But even then, I took that away from her, from me. Although I had thought for the longest time that I was in love with Katherine, and I would only ever be in love with her, meeting Elena changed everything. She showed me what love really was. She made me feel what love really was. My favorite place in the world had come to be wherever she was.

_"I hope that you see right through my walls, I hope that catch me, 'cause I'm already falling, I'll never let a love get so close, you put your arms around me and I'm home"_

My favorite place in the world had come to be her arms.

_"you put you arms around me and I'm home"_

_**So I was thinking about doing a second chapter from Elena's P.O.V. on Damon. Let me know what you think! REVIEW!**  
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	2. Don't Want To Lose My Home

_**This took me waaaaaaayyyyy longer than I said it would, and for that I'm sorry. I hope it was worth the ridiculously long wait! : )**  
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_"I never thought that you'd be the one to hold my heart"_

Who would have guessed that I would fall for Damon Salvatore of all people? Well, a lot of people guessed that, but still, _I _never thought that Damon of all people would end up being the one to hold my heart. But if there was one thing that I learned through all this vampire craziness, was that not everything turns out the way you thought it would.

_"but you came around and knocked me off the ground from the start"_

If I were being perfectly honest, I would have to admit that I had felt _something_ for Damon from the very moment I saw him. How could I not? The boy was smokin'! All hotness aside, I had felt a connection with Damon when he scared me for the first time in the boarding house. My feelings for him had only intensified, especially after the infamous Georgia trip. It really was the point in which everything changed.

_"you put your arms around me and I believe that it's easier for you to let me go"_

Even after I finally let myself acknowledge the fact that there was _something _between Damon and I, I never let it get farther than wishful thinking and daydreams. I truly believed that it was the best thing for everyone if I just ignored my feelings for him. But it's getting to the point where I no longer think that that's possible.

_"you put your arms around me and I'm home"_

Because lately, well lately, we've been going through a lot of crap. And whenever I felt myself getting overwhelmed and scared out of my mind, I found myself most comfortable in Damon's arms.

_"how many times will you let me change my mind and turn around?"_

Even though reasonably, there were far more scarier things to think about, all I could ponder was how many chances I had left. How many more times would Damon come back to me even after I rejected him? I prayed to God that there was just one more each day, because each day I told myself that tomorrow would be the day I laid my heart out for him. And each day, I rejected him still.

_"I can't decide if I'll let you save my life or if I'll drown"_

And then there was the ultimate dillema of him always saving me. Often I thought about how much pain and suffering I could have saved us all if I had just died in the car crash with my parents like I was supposed to. Should I let him save my life for the millionth time and let him risk his life or should I just let myself go, so no one else would get hurt? I knew _he _would kill me if he knew I was even pondering the idea. The thought, oddly enough, made me smile.

_"I hope that you see right through my walls"_

Whenever I was caught in one of those moments were I had to lie right to his face about my feelings for him, I wished briefly that he would look me in the eye and call my bluff. That he would see straight past my walls and know the truth. That I was deeply in love with him. It sure would make things a whole lot easier for me.

_"I hope that you catch me, cause I'm already falling"_

The thing that scared me the most about loving Damon was the uncertainty. Did he really love me? It may seem like a funny thing to ask, I mean, he _does_ sure act like he loves me. But is it true love? Or am I just his distraction? Will he still love me once I am no longer someone to chase?

_"I'll never let a love get so close"_

After my parents died, I kind of told myself that I was done with love. To me, if I no longer loved, then I was safe from any emotionally damage. Then Stefan came along, and I broke my vow. I loved him. I truly did. Did you notice how I used the past tense? I can't love Stefan any more, he's made it incapable for me to love him. I told him I wouldn't love a ghost forever. I meant it.

But with Damon, it's like he sneaked up on me. I didn't consider him anyone I would love, so I shared with him things I had been keeping inside in an attempt to free myself from it without truly letting someone so close. And then all of a sudden I realized that Damon _had _become that close. And that I was no longer telling him these things because I needed an outlet, but that I enjoyed telling him these things about my life before him. Things about my life now that he was here.

_"you put your arms around me and I'm home"_

Somehow my mind began to consider Damon's arms home. Lord knows how hard I tried to reverse it, but the thought just wouldn't budge. So I found myself giving in, I found myself having more and more intimate encounters than I should have. But I couldn't even fathom the thought of trying to stop it.

_"the world is coming down on me and I can't find a reason to be loved"_

It was the worst when I was stuck in one of those I'm-a-horrible-person moments. The ones where I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders and I blamed myself for every single thing that went wrong. Those were the times when I craved his presence the most. Because I could always count on him to tell me how ridiculously stupid it was to blame myself for _everything _that went wrong. He knew the feeling of self-hate. He understood.

_"I never want to leave you but I can't make you bleed if I'm alone, you put your arms around me and I believe that it's easier for you to let me go, I hope that you see right through my walls, I hope that you catch me, cause I'm already falling, I'll never let a love get so close, you put your arms around me and I'm home"_

He promised me he would never leave me. I believed him. But could I promise that _I _would never leave _him_? I certainly didn't want to, but I couldn't help but believe that that would be the best thing for the both of us. If I was gone, I couldn't hurt him anymore.

_"I tried my best to never let you in to see the truth, and I've never opened up, I've never truly loved 'til you put your arms around me, and I believe it's easier for you to let me go"_

It's easier for him, if he lets me go. That way I couldn't hurt him anymore. At least, that's what I kept telling myself. But really, that would just be easier for me. If he didn't love me anymore, than I wouldn't have to confront my feelings for him or put my heart out there. I was being selfish.

_"I hope that you see right through my walls, I hope that you catch me, cause I'm already falling, I'll never let a love get so close, you put your arms around me and I'm home"_

Because the truth was, the love I felt for Damon scared me to death. It was so powerful, so definite. Damon was my home. Plain and simple. But the thought of loving something, someone so much was scary for me because I was used to losing the people I loved. I didn't want to lose Damon. Hell, I _couldn't _lose Damon. As in, I don't think I would find it possible to live in a world without him in it.

_"you put your arms around me and I'm home"_

I didn't want to lose another home. But I think the greater tragedy would be to never let myself have something like that in fear of losing it.


End file.
